Archive for December, 2012

Last Day of 2012

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Today is the last day of 2012 and what a year it was. We had three end of the world’s which all failed. Well, the western Mayan fixation can’t be blamed on the natives but this religious obsession of blowing up or zombies clawing their way out of the sod.

For my family, it saw us move from the tropical Rockhampton in Central Queensland where we had lived for eleven and a half years. A place I miss yet am glad to be out of(long story). I drove down with my two eldest daughters, two cats and a dog. We took out time taking the 1800km drive southwards to Sydney.

Besides the leg stretch at Childers and a nap at Gympie, we spent the first a good four hours resting at the Gold Coast. A seafood breakfast, the ocean breeze and a very good relax. Followed by an hour or so at the Macadamia Nut Castle near Ballina, far north region of New South Wales. They have a petting zoo there. Would love to spend a whole day there with all the family and spend a lot of money. We had a drink and ice cream before heading off again, next stop a good few hours drive to Coffs Harbour at the Big Banana which was near closing time. Amongst the other stops, the funny break at Wyong just north of Sydney. You see, there were a lot of Police Officers getting their feed from McDonald’s and I was heard making a  little joke about it. As soon as we started to leave, a handful of cops followed us out and I saw them look at my car and the number plate so I set the cruise control at ten kilometres under the speed limit. 

My wife flew down a week after us with our two youngest children who both had their first flight. Seems pretty much everyone on the plane knew the kids had never seen a city before by their excited talking while seeing all the lights of Sydney, Luna Park, etc. From the airport I drove them right into the CBD of Sydney where they saw buildings go right up, instead of the much shorter buildings of Rockhampton.

Eight months of living in another person’s house and we have our own place. We ended up staying in Sydney for the children were enjoying their schools here are they are doing well there. Our second eldest will be in her final primary school year and ran for student leadership election. She made it pass the first stage but not the second and final stage. She gave it a go though. That’s all that matters. Much better than not doing and wondering all your life, ‘what if’.

On the last day of December this year, the media is carrying the story of convicted child sex offender, Denis Ferguson who kept trying to sneak his way back into fields of employment to near children, is dead. Not many a person will miss him. “Not a bad start”, as one person commented on Facebook.

For the final night of the year, we will be home. I would have loved to have taken the kids into the city for the fireworks and the youngest three aged 11, 9 and 8 years old have never seen New Year’s fireworks. Only the small fireworks in Rockhampton held but not for New Year’s Eve for Rockhampton does not celebrate it. Oh wait, the pubs and night clubs do but no family events.

I am finishing the year off with a bung left knee which has been sore the last few days. Swollen today. Not to worry, I have bought myself a bottle of Mead liquor. I have never had mead before and I am looking forward to it. Will have to get back for the other two types of mead. So tonight I will be raising my glass of mead to the Gods of Old. 

The end is end near and the new year is about to begin. Enjoy yourself and have lots of fun.

The Year is dead. Long live the Year!

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A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATHS

Subject: A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid,” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That’s 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That’s 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That’s 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That’s 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don’t think so

Be Safe & Laugh Often

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GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS

GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS: this is a true story, apparently!

Green Tree Snakes (Dendrelaphis punctulata) can be dangerous.
Yes, *tree* *snakes* or grass snakes, not brown snakes or taipans. Here’s why…

A couple in Townsville, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold winter (for Townsville that is!), the wife was bringing some of the valued tender ones indoors to protect them from the cold night.

It turned out that a little green tree snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the lounge. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the lounge.

He got down on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The paramedics rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the lounge and the paramedic saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbour who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the lounge. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the lounge in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the lounge.

The neighbour, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbour’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at Woolies, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbour lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him.
She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.

By now, the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbour and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the lounge and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the curtains.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbours saw the burning curtains and called in the fire brigade. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street.
The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed. The snake was caught and both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that’s when he shot her.

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The Other Glass Ceiling

We have long heard the definition of the ‘Glass Ceiling’ aired by feminists. There is definitely a glass ceiling aimed at men around children but what would one call a collective of men seeking to destroy this world view? Manism just doesn’t sound right.

Before I became a father, if somebody had told me that society viewed fathers as sex fiends, I very much doubt that I would have believed them and would have thought they were either paranoid or exaggerating. I became Dad in April, 1997 and it was when my daughter became old enough to start exploring playgrounds independently as a toddler, I personally found that this view of men is true.

I was living on the Redcliffe Peninsula when my then only child aged 2 years old loved exploring the Council playgrounds. I would sit back and observe her, look at the ocean, read a book or whatever as she played. I soon recognised a pattern. Every time I took my daughter to a park alone and there were middle aged woman(my daughter attracted young women to strike up conversations with me) about, they would approach my daughter and ask her questions like; “Are you alright…do you need us to call the Police…you don’t have to say you’re with him if you’re not…”. I am confident in my belief that these very same women who viewed all males are sex offenders against children, would be the first to savage Dads for not having anything to do with their children.

In 2000, I studied Cert III in Community Services(Yth Wk) at TAFE. I was also volunteering at a local high school as a tutor for students behind in their reading levels. No male was ever left alone with a student yet women were allowed to be left alone with their students. Once again, I felt as if I was made to feel I was about to grab a child and have my wicked way with them.

In 2001, I enrolled at University to study, B.Human Services(Yth Wk).  I also had completed my first stint as a paid Santa at a shopping centre and I loved it. I was looking forward to my second stint as a Santa which I enjoyed just as much. I never completed the first year though. Despite the course offered at the University being useless and full of nothing but Marxist drivel for which I was going to seek to change my choice of University, I quit for personal reasons.

It was during my first year and only year of study at University that I found that people often were approving that I was studying to improve my lot. I had to do something as I could no longer perform physical labour intensive employment. All such approval kept disappearing when I shared what I was studying. Every single frown followed by accusations of having sinister intentions for the only reason a male would want to work with children of any age, is for perverted reasons.

So I took it upon myself to ask women studying the same discourse as I to see what they thought of this mindset. All expectations of sympathy was quickly demolished as about two thirds admitted to distrusting all men who work with children. That was the final nail in the coffin for me. Were I find myself falsely accused or just facing words of innuendo, what chance would I have of proving innocence?

Then on cue, a Queensland high school teacher, a male, was accused of some kind of sexual offence against a high school girl. He was suspended pending the result. This girl who made the accusation admitted to making up the accusation for revenge against her teacher. The school and the Education Department accepted him back but the parents, mothers mostly, objected to him returning as they preferred to believe that the girl was bullied out of the accusation. So he was given a transfer but the parents sniffed out he was coming to their children’s school and they also objected with threats of withdrawing the attendance of their children. This man left teaching, his career destroyed by a spoilt brat and by male distrusting parents. Luckily, this man did not commit suicide. Thankfully.

Prof. Charles Areni

(December, 2012) Enter, Professor Charles Areni. Professor of Marketing at the University of Sydney who as a single parenting father, sought to purchase underwear for his three year old daughter, Jacqueline, only be fronted by a Security Officer wanting to know why he was in the children’s section. Story as told in the Sydney newspaper, Sydney Morning Herald on Dec 26, 2012.

Charles Areni, along with fellow scholar in behavioural sciences Stephen Holden, are writing a book together based on their experiences as sole parents, as fathers. They also have a blog page, The Other Glass Ceiling which is the title of the book they are writing.

So what does it take to fix this ill view of single fathers and men in general?

I believe that it will take leadership. It will take pressure on politicians to show some guts to end this socially divisive mess. Just look at Government Department websites and you find words of advice telling parents that children must never be left alone to play. Never left outside alone. I am surprised they haven’t declared it dangerous for a child to breathe. This is something we have to stop.

The media is another major draw back, ever keen to impress on every person’s mind that there is a child molester on every street corner. And sadly, I have personally found myself amongst people who agree with labeling all men as child molesters if that’s what it takes to protect children but in reality, it does not protect children, it harms them and it harms society as a whole as everybody has come to view every male as suspicious.

To protect children, society must allow men to be around children without everyone having to view them as perverted. Children need both gender role models in their lives be it as parent, cousin, teacher or whatever. If we are going to continue to push all men as perverts, then I move that we make it illegal for men to work as Politicians, Police Officers, Fire & Rescue Officers, Paramedics, Doctors, Teachers, Bus Drivers, Nurses, the list goes on indefinitely.

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God explaining his creation to Archangle Michael(Joke)

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, — “Where have you been?”

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, —- “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, —- “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” — replied God, — and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test ‘Balance.'”

“Balance?” — inquired Michael, —- “I’m still confused.”

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things…”

God continued pointing to different countries. — “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, — “What’s that one?”

“That’s Australia, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, a beautiful river, and days filled with sunshine. The people from there are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hard working, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, — “But what about balance, God? You said there would be ‘balance.'”

God smiled, — “I will create Canberra. Wait till you see the idiots I’ll put there.”

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New Cave

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The house move is complete. Well, just about. All that is left is getting what little we left behind up north in Rockhampton which is only a mix of boxes, bags a few other stuff making a pile about three cubic metres. 

We rented a 3 ton truck from Budget in Blacktown which was a nice truck to drive. First time I’ve driven an automatic truck. When the truck first changed gears, I thought something was wrong with it as the engine seemed to cut out. What a relief that was when I realised it was just a matter of gear changes.

Thankfully there wasn’t much to move at all and that there were other people to help as I really can’t do much of it any more with thanks to Movement Disorders. Most I did was drive the truck and help with a few of the things.

This is a comfy house probably made in the 1970’s. While I enjoyed the ease of living in a fairly newly built house in Rockhampton, the older house is less of a worry with kids as you aren’t worried about them damaging the house where the slightest mark shows up in new homes. And we’re only a very short walk to the kids primary school meaning the 9 and 8 year old kids can head off to school and back alone without having their 11 year old sister with them, who misses the longer walk.

As we are settling into the new home, the eldest is living on campus at a University this week as part of a program for Year 9 girls at high school seeking to encourage them to study in maths and science fields. I’m sure she’s having so much fun that she’s barely thinking of us.

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