Alternate School Notes

I’ve personally grown bored of writing the same notes my children’s teachers so for this week, I have penned with the almighty power of the computer keyboard, backed up by Mr Printer, notes for school.

The first is regarding sending one of my children to school minus her school uniform;

(Name) has been sent to school without the wearing of school clothes due to unfriendly weather and due to the poor memory of a parent who did not bring the cottons inside before the clouds wept.

The second note was written for my eldest who spent a day at home due to being unable to make it to school due to heavy rain;

(Name) was absent from school for the one day only on 11 November. I would like to say it was because she was out on a long trek covering the coastline of the Australian Continent. Sadly, I cannot. (Name) was away from school because the magical folding stick that scares the rain from a weeping cloud from her cranium went missing. As the cloud and all his friends wept with much harmony, we allowed her to stay at home to prevent becoming soggy as a biscuit in the bottom of a tea cup.

The God of Staying at Home spoke that day. A missing alert was declared for the magical folding stick, a search party was sent forth where a successful team returned with magical stick joyously welcomed back with much glee.

I feel better now.

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